How To Name Days & Months Of The Calendar (And How Not To)

We all love to hate Mondays, but Tuesdays aren't any better either. In fact the seven days of the work-week can be renamed as: Monday Monday # 2 Monday # 3 Pre-Friday Procrastinate-Everything-To-The-Following-Week-Day Saturday Existential-Crisis-Day

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Speaking of the calendar, I've realized this only recently that the 7th, 8th, 9th & 10th months of the year are not SEPT-ember, OCT-ober, NOV-ember & DEC-ember as they should be. Very upsetting. I thought whoever fucked this up while naming/numbering of the months should be stabbed to death. Turns out July and August weren't there before and were introduced in the calendar after the Roman Emperors Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar. Soooo... at least one of them was stabbed to death. Good.

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Switching gears back to the days of the week, I was reading up on why Wednesday was named Wednesday. Apparently it is Woden's day, or Odin's day according to Norse Mythology. Odin is the most powerful God according to them so I guess dedicating 1/7th of a week to him is only fair. But according to the Greek Mythology, Wednesday is the day of Hermes. Besides being a funny word, Hermes is the God of "commerce, travel, thievery, eloquence and science. He is also the messenger of the other gods". I'm sorry what? They just slipped in the word thievery like it was nothing. Why do you need a God for that? Also being a God of science is a pretty great honor I suppose, but then he's also a messenger - like a mailman of the Gods. So back on earth I would assume: a scientist, a common thief & a mailman pray to the same God? That seems hardly practical. What happens in a scenario where the primary duties of all three clash against each other? For example, if all the thief wants to achieve is steal a precious test-tube from a secure lab, and mail it to an address which is out of the jurisdiction of the post office, who wins? This is an under-rated thing that everyone should be talking about.